My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
