so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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