i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
