There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
