We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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