I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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