Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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