i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Michael Bay diarrhea
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
