i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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