There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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