is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize