How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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