You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
