so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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