Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
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just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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