you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
