The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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