Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
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i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize