oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
