Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I accidentally had phone sex last night
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't want my vagina anymore.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
