He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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