even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
