I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
