Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
