...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Randomize
