so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
