He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
