then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i would punch a child for taco bell
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
