Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize