What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
