Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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