is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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