And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
