Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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