Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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