I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize