my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
