I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
