im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
