i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
