We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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