Ketchup is God's man juice
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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