Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
