I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Couch. On fire.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
