Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
