forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize