That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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