The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
