I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
