I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
