If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
