Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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