The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize