Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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