my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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