i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
