I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
