If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
