I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
