Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
