Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
