How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
