Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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