yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
