Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
