I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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