I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
