Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
