Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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